Brother Jeff Responds to Brother Derek

I have recently been carrying on an interesting and amusing conversation with a very religious Catholic named Brother Derek. He wants the Lard Jesus to magically do something about my glorious Facebook Page and my glorious website. LOL… 🙂 Here’s the conversation so far, and as far as I am concerned, it has run it’s course…

Brother Derek
May 2nd, 7:38am
Jesus I surrender this to you , please take care of it …

Brother Derek
May 6th, 8:25am
live in your nothing world and have no final eternity which is what we are chosen for

Religion is Bullshit
May 20th, 6:00pm
Are you expecting your Imaginary Friend to magically do something about my glorious Page?

Religion is Bullshit
May 20th, 6:01pm
None of us is going to live forever. When we die, we really die! Enjoy this life while you have it because it’s the only one you are ever going to get!

Brother Derek
May 20th, 6:41pm
another man who has only belief in himself just like SOLOMON or SATAN !!!! It is not your knowledge and NOTHING WORLD but it is by the child within us accepting and believing and following his eternal way that we will be brought into his eternal Kingdom which is more wast and beyond anything inside of your pea brained head !!! In Genesis one of the first things he did was to create light which travels at the distance of which is 299792458 meters per second …. and that is only the beginning … or neglect me !!! Persecute me !! Condemn me !!! Sacrifice me !! And say there is nothing !!!

Religion is Bullshit
May 20th, 9:07pm
I believe in plenty of other things besides myself. You obviously don’t have a clue about what atheism is or what it means. Atheism is, quite simply, a lack of belief in a god or gods. Satan (the Talking Snake) obviously doesn’t exist. Heaven doesn’t exist either. The contradictory and absurd Genesis creation myths are laughably hilarious by today’s standards. But if you read the text, you’ll find that plant life was created before the sun was! LOL. Day and night were also created before the sun was. How, exactly can you have Day without light? LOL. I have no interest in persecuting or condemning you, but I do want to see you FREE! Glory!

Brother Derek
May 20th, 9:45pm
and you ain’t seen nothing yet …. the Holy Spirit is within me and is greater and more than each and all of what you demand and need to believe … MIRACLES our what we are !!! We are his light and his way each day to bring in more of his love and friendship FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE … I am not what I was and there is not much I am capable , today , but by him and through him more and more people find him in me and find happiness in there heart from my ability to put myself into burden to help them with their burden which I hope in time they will help me with my burden for it is through his Glory and Power and Kingdom forever and ever Amen Amen …

Religion is Bullshit
May 20th, 9:56pm
Wow. You managed to write an entire paragraph of bullshit! Congratulations! Glory!

The holy spirit doesn’t exist, and you can’t be free and be religious at the same time. It’s impossible. Religion might make people happy temporarily, until they realize that the beliefs are myths and the promises are false.

We are not miracles. There is no such thing as a miracle. Like the rest of the life that exists on this planet, we are the product of millions of years of biological evolution.

Brother Derek
May 20th, 10:05pm
live in your nothing having just it and the HOLY SPIRIT fulfills me helping me to become FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE and I am a KNIGHT OF COLUMBUS and we give $$$1,000 up to $$$$1,000,000,000 saving our world , ending abortions , helping those becoming flooded , tsunami victims , children with disabilities or sicknesses ALL OVER THE WORLD .. for CENTURIES .. Praise GOD Praise his name !!! Praise Jesus !!! Praise Mary !!! Praise Joseph !!! Praise Paul !! Praise Peter !!! Praise Barabus , who , as you , believed he knew all .. and his name is SON OF MAN !!! Praise you !! Celebrate in Thanksgiving for we our a Miracle and a fire for our God .. Amen Amen … Jesus I leave this difficulty up to you .. please take care of it …

Religion is Bullshit
May 21st, 8:24pm
The Holy Spirit doesn’t exist, and you cannot be religious and be FREE at the same time. As I’ve told you before, that is impossible. Praising your Imaginary Friend accomplishes absolutely nothing. Same goes for your other imaginary/dead friends. The Jesus of the Gospels is a myth. The historical Jesus has been dead for a very long time, and he can’t help you do anything about this glorious Page or my glorious website.

Brother Derek
May 21st, 9:04pm
yes he can !! yes he does !! Forever more !! Making me a follower and a Ctholic !!! FREE FREE FREE FREE

Religion is Bullshit
May 21st, 10:26pm
You are not even close to being FREE, Brother Derek. You obviously have religion really bad, but there is hope for you to return to the REAL WORLD! I did it, many others who were trapped in religion have done it, and you can too!

Brother Derek
The real world ?? Lucifer was thrown down from Heaven from being a defiant , prejudice angel , just as a 1/3 of the Angels that disobeyed and were unwilling to follow in GODS way which is what is on Earth and is trying to take from our Eternal GOD , but , sounds like you have nothing , believe in nothing , are nothing and keep living in a negative , SATN consumed fall away position that , as a CAtholic , we ask for you to try and believe in his TRUE way so , you too , may become FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE because either you believe and follow in his way or you are very short in understanding and belief which we are willing to help and expose his true way !!! There are different levels of understanding .. the first .. when you are given something as in food or shelter , that is the first , the second is when you are sending me this insane / backward information because you are taking your time and effort to make an attempt [ WHICH IS WRONG !!! ] to achieve a goal , the third is when you give of yourself entirely for the help of another individual to help them and give to them for their option , and the fourth [ WHICH YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND ] is BELIEF !!!!!!

Brother Derek
May 22nd, 8:08am
I pray for you and beg of the Lords’ mercy to help you and praise you because you are one of his many children !!! Amen Amen !!! Jesus I surrender this to you , please take care of it !!!

Religion is Bullshit
May 25th, 11:50am
Lucifer? Angels? They don’t exist. That’s the stuff of ancient mythology, not reality. As I have told you before, I believe in plenty of things besides myself, and my life is certainly not “nothing’. My life is amazing, and it has great meaning to me. Of course I understand what it means to help others. I do it every chance I get quite happily, and it’s the driving force behind my glorious website. I am passionate about helping others get FREE of religion!

You can pray for me all you want and I do appreciate the sentiment, but it won’t do any good, Prayer, quite obviously, does not work. There is no God out there to hear or respond to it, and the only thing it does is make the person doing the praying feel good for accomplishing absolutely nothing! The “Lord” does not exist and he cannot help me or you or anyone else. The Jesus of the Gospels is a myth, and the historical Jesus has been dead for a very long time…

Brother Derek
May 25th, 2:30pm
Baptisms !! First Communions !!! Penance !! Confirmation !!! Marriage !!! Holy Orders !!
Blessing of past individuals !!! The Eucharist !!! His WIne !!! Jesus I surrender this to you please take care of it !!! I have a 4″ hole in my left forehead that the Almighty Lord helped me to recover and spread of his Spirit and Freedom his has given to me !!! Bless you !! Praise you !!! Celebrate in all Thanksgiving as we have always done to be thankful and praise because we our children !!! Amen Amen !!!

Religion is Bullshit
May 25th, 3:14pm
So you have nothing intelligent to say in response? Just religious nonsense?

Brother Derek, I believe our conversation has run it’s course. Take care, and I wish you well. And, of course, I wish for you to someday soon find FREEDOM from religious belief. Glory!

EDIT: Brother Derek failed to comprehend the fact that our conversation was over. I took the time to respond to him one more time, but I’m not likely to do it again.

Brother Derek
May 25th, 10:00pm
Have you not heard of Elijah ?? Elisha ?? Malachi ?? Ezekiel ?? Zechariah ?? Amos ?? Hosea ?? Mathew ? mark ?? luke ?? John ?? Moses ?? Abraham ?? Saul ? David ?? Solomon ?? Yet you defy and ridicule his word in your own defiance and neglect casting vipers and scorpions as if you believe you are true ?? I AM !!! We are eternally saved and free within his kingdom which will only become available when you say that he is the lord God of all eternal Kingdom , my heart is hardened and torn that another individual I do not know is crucifing me .. sacrificing me .. and you do not know who your brother is and what you eternal spirit and freedom has the ability to achieve by GOD’S LOVE !!!! Amen Amen

Religion is Bullshit
May 25th, 10:54pm
What did you not understand about the fact that our conversation has run it’s course?

Sigh… of course I have heard of those people. I am quite familiar with the Bible and its contents, which is one big reason that I don’t believe it and that it it is impossible for me to take it seriously as the “word” of a god.

Moses and Abraham are mythical. It is extremely likely that they never actually existed. If you knew anything at all about modern biblical scholarship, you would know that. If you knew anything about biblical scholarship, you would know that Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John did not write the gospels that bear their names. The gospels were written anonymously, and the names we know them by were added much later. It may be church tradition that those men wrote the gospels, but it’s NOT reality.

There is no such thing as salvation, and there is no such thing as “saved” or “unsaved”. Those are false distinctions made by a demonstrably false religion. God does not have a kingdom since God does not exist. I do not have a eternal spirit. There is no such thing as a soul or a spirit. Those are the stuff of myth, not reality.

The Bible God is NOT love. The biblical God is a murderous, genocidal maniac who makes Hitler look like an awesome guy by comparison. READ YOUR OWN DAMN HOLY BOOK! If you had, you would know this!

I am FREE, but you are not! Not even close!

I will mock the Bible as much as I care to as publicly as I care to. It’s ridiculous, and it is a huge amount of fun to mock and ridicule it! Glory!

Now… I am DONE with this discussion. Like most religious people, you have completely lost touch with REALITY and you are impossible to reason with. When was the last time you had a rational thought? Ever?

I am not likely to waste my time responding to you again.

Debunking Religious Experiences

Reading an old post from my friend Matt over at http://www.ragingrev.com got me thinking about my own religious experiences from back in my Christian days. I used to absolutely love Charismatic praise and worship services! I spent hours daily praying and worshiping god. Seeking god was my very favorite thing to do! The emotional highs I experienced were intense and convincing at the time. I really thought that I was experiencing the presence of a very real and good and loving and holy god. But now that I have been out of religious belief for as long as I was in it (15 years), I can look back on it all and see that the incredible emotional highs were driven by the equally incredible power of belief. And now that the belief is gone, so are the emotional experiences. I no longer believe in or experience god, and I am perfectly happy and okay with that, though getting to that place took a while and it took a lot of work. Here is an excerpt from Matt’s blog post:

These experiences, for many many years, solidified my belief in god – they were physical evidences of spiritual truths that my god had gifted me with the ability to experience. I still remember them strongly and I still feel that immense “heart tug” when I hear the sort of worship music that was present during those times…if ever an atmosphere was ripe for manipulation of young minds it was this one and I was it’s victim.

Today I’m not really writing to tell my story – I’m writing to try to explain the dangers of experiences like these pose to young people and how some of these youth will ultimately be let down by these experiences and why they, as great as they may seem, are the result of psychosomatic responses to emotional over-stimulation.

At this point in our understanding of human psychology and development we know that young people are more susceptible to manipulation of all sorts, more often that not those that remain in charismatic churches and uphold charismatic beliefs are those that are either born into the movement or are young when they get into it….it appeals to that lack of emotional maturity that so many young people have as well as the overwhelming lack of critical thinking skill that make them the perfect candidates for this newly emergent version of Christianity.

For me, these experiences eventually turned into a pursuit for more of god…almost like a better fix on your drug of choice, it becomes insatiable. This pursuit consumed me and had me on my face seeking “him” often – this pursuit and the eventual let down it became made me into the the atheist I am today. Yes, seeking god’s presence ultimately brought me to this place the moment I realized just how easily my emotions and emotional ineptitude could have lead up to the experiences I had already had and brought me ultimately to question the weight of experiences in determining truth. I had to reject those experiences, something many can never do because of the crippling fear instilled in them from an early age, in order to reject the god I had. That fear, coupled with this incredibly emotionally subjective experience are a cruel way of gaining converts.

So why do these experiences seem so very real?

The answer is quite simple, but somewhat complex to truly understand – the art of Hypnosis and Suggestion as originally coined by Franz Mesmer, is the ability to suggest to an individual or group under the right conditions as to what will occur and to have that prophecy of sorts come true. It can be complex or simple, intentional and completely accidental, but it is very very possible.

You can read Matt’s full post here:

http://ragingrev.com/2011/08/the-new-charismatics-debunking-experiences-with-god/

One thing he wrote that stands out to me is this:

These experiences, for many many years, solidified my belief in god – they were physical evidences of spiritual truths that my god had gifted me with the ability to experience. I still remember them strongly and I still feel that immense “heart tug” when I hear the sort of worship music that was present during those times…if ever an atmosphere was ripe for manipulation of young minds it was this one and I was it’s victim.

I have been free from religion for 15 years, but I still feel an emotional pull when I hear the old worship music or old Christian Rock music that I loved back in the day, such as Mylon LeFevre & Broken Heart. I understand that the emotional pull is not god or the holy spirit, but simply a reminder of emotional highs from the past and of beliefs once held sacred. I can look back to my days of drinking and using drugs too in the same way. Sometimes I feel an emotional pull to drink or to get high on pot and/or cocaine again, but that doesn’t mean that I go do it. When those thoughts come up, I recognize them as reminders of a past long gone now and of choices that I no longer make. I can’t drink right now because of medications I am on and I choose not to use drugs. I’m a bit old for that lifestyle now, anyway. My almost 49-year old body won’t take the abuse anymore even if I wanted to go there…

Another man I know of who has written similarly on the issues of conversion, brainwashing, and religious indoctrination is Dick Sutphen. He is a popular New Age author and teacher, and a while back he wrote a piece called The Battle for Your Mind. You can read it here:

http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Secrets/TR/sutphen.html

I realize now that all those years ago back when I was 19 years old and I experienced a dramatic religious conversion and change of lifestyles (from a typical teenage party animal to a fundamentalist religious believer), I was the victim of religion-based emotional manipulation and abuse and the victim of tried and true religious conversion and brainwashing and indoctrination techniques.

Part of the journey from religious belief back to the real world is realizing what has been done to us and why. And then, we can begin to heal the damage that has been done to our minds and to our emotions.

You can and you should be FREE. You deserve to be FREE and to live this life FREE from the emotional manipulation and abuse of religious belief. Glory!

From Atheism to Christianity – a Review – Part 4

This glorious post is Part 4 of a glorious review of this article. Parts 1, 2, and 3 can be found here, here, and here.

In addition to convincing me of the inherent reasonableness of the New Testament record of Jesus’ miracles, Lewis’s writings also helped me to understand why the Christian concept of God as a union of three persons within one Godhead (the ‘Trinity’) made sense, and why ‘God the Son’, the second person of that ‘Trinity’, had to come down into our world as Jesus, to ‘die for our sins’ and conquer death on our behalf.

There is nothing reasonable about miracles, whether we are referencing the alleged miracles of Jesus or the alleged miracles of Allah (such as Muhammad’s winged horse flying to the moon), or the alleged miracles performed by Hindu gods (such as Ganesh drinking milk). As I have pointed out in previous posts, the Gospels are not history. They are myth written decades afer the supposed life and death of Jesus, and not much else. There is absolutely nothing sensible about the doctrine of the Trinity! The Trinity is three Gods who are also somehow magically Each Other, yet they are also somehow magically separate and distinct co-eternal Persons who are all equally divine and all God. Please explain to me how this absurd nonsense “makes sense” to you. I would love to know… The concept that God had to sacrifice Himself to Himself to save us from Himself makes no rational sense at all! There is no such thing as sin. Sin is a religious concept with no demonstrable basis in reality. Myths about dying and rising gods have been around for thousands of years, yet not a single one of them is real and not a single one of them has actually conquered death, and that certainly includes Jesus.

As Lewis explains in his most readable book, Mere Christianity, God is Love personified since, as our Creator, He is the divine source and origin of all human (and animal) love. But since love involves relationships between people, we should not be altogether surprised to discover that God in His own Being is a loving union of three distinct persons – described in the New Testament as ‘Father’, ‘Son’, and ‘Holy Spirit’. It is of course true that this revelation may at first appear startling and strange, but it does not seem unreasonable once you think about it. The same thing applies to the apparently perplexing and contradictory notion of unity in diversity. How can God be a union of ‘three-in-one’? Well, says Lewis, what appears to be an impossibility in our dimension of being is not necessarily an impossibility in God’s dimension of Being. To use his very helpful analogy, you can’t picture a union of six separate squares in a two dimensional world, but you can picture a cube in a three dimensional world. So just as a cube is one body made up of six separate squares, so God is one Being made up of three separate persons. Again, this revelation may come as a shock, but it does not seem unreasonable. And this, argues Lewis, is another reason why Christianity has that strange ‘ring of truth’. It gives us information about God which no-one would ever have thought of making up, yet still manages to make some kind of sense. It involves a mystery about God which goes beyond our human understanding but not against it, which is surely what we ought to expect if there is a God.

The God of the Bible is hardly love personified, and he could hardly be said to be the source of all human and animal love. Try actually reading the Old Testament and then try, after reading the numerous accounts of God either ordering or directly committing mass murder and genocide, telling me that this God is loving. Even the New Testament doesn’t cast God in a very good light. In Acts 5, he murders two people simply for lying to him about their finances, and if the book of Revelation were to come true in today’s modern world, billions of non-Christian people would die horribly and then be sent to hell to be tormented endlessly with no hope of reprieve, forever. For a fuller treatment of the character of the Bible God, please see these links:

http://religionisbullshit.me/the-character-of-the-bible-god-2/

http://religionisbullshit.me/character-god-revisited/

The doctrine of the Trinity doesn’t make sense to me no matter how much I think about it. Three Gods who are somehow magically Each Other while at the same time being three separate and distinct Persons does not make rational sense! Every argument I have heard in defense of the Trinity has not made sense or has been absurd, and this one is no exception. That’s always a defense of religious concepts that are irrational, isn’t it? They are a “mystery that is beyond our human understanding.” I think it is much easier and much more honest to simply call it the absurd mythological bullshit that it is! Christianity has no “ring of truth” to it whatsoever, and of course concepts such as the Trinity can be made up by men, and that it obviously the case here! Nonsensical doctrines and obvious myths is not at all what I would expect from a real, existing God who was interested in revealing himself to mankind. If God actually exists, he could easily clear up the religious confusion that exists in the world by making an appearance and letting us know who he is and what he wants of us. Yet, thus far, except in the stuff of ancient myths, he has failed to do so.

I must emphasise, at this point, that the Christian concept of the Trinitarian nature of God is not something that Christian theologians simply invented many decades after Jesus’ death and resurrection. It emerged quickly and naturally as Jesus’ first disciples and followers came to understand the logical implications of His life and teachings, and reflected on what He Himself had said about His relationship and union with His ‘Father’. And since love was and is at the heart of that relationship, and explains why God created the universe and gave us the gift of life, it also tells us why His rescue plan for the human race necessitated His arrival in our world as a human being, and His cruel death under Pontius Pilate.

The alleged resurrection (Magical Undeadening) of Jesus is an obvious myth, and not a real historical event. Of course Christian theologians invented the Trinity just as they invented everything else about the religion. Religion is entirely man-made and that is a glaringly obvious fact to everyone except the religious, of course. The doctrine of the Trinity was not made official in Christian thought until the Council of Nicea in the year 325 AD. Relevant link:

http://www.religionfacts.com/christianity/beliefs/trinity.htm

God’s “rescue plan” is absurd! God had to brutally torture Himself and sacrifice Himself to Himself to save us from Himself? Or, in more humorous terms, Jesus (the Magic Sky Man) had to be brutally tortured by the Sky Him version of Himself and then He had to sacrifice Himself to Himself to save us from the Holy Farter version of Himself? Just how, exactly, does this absurd nonsense make rational sense to you?

As I have already pointed out, the God of the Bible is not loving, and he did not create the universe. I will not get into a deep discussion of cosmology because it’s not my field of expertise at all, but the universe was created approximately 13.7 billion years ago by the process known as the Big Bang. It had absolutely nothing to do with a god speaking a powerful magical spell from Nowhere, presumably in Hebrew, as the Bible absurdly asserts. It is absurd to think that a God would create this enormous universe, which consists of billions of galaxies, with mankind in mind. As Carl Sagan so beautifully put it in his Pale Blue Dot:

“Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”

This concludes Part 4 of this glorious series. Part 5 is coming soon! Glory!

Please Forgive Me?

Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Please Forgive Me?

This heartfelt letter to God, posted here with permission, was written by an ex-Christian who posts as “Margee” on the Ex-Christian.net forums. In expressing her struggles with faith, I believe Margee speaks for many — if not most — of us who consider ourselves to be ex-Christians.

It has been my experience that fundamentalist Christians do not treat those who leave the faith with much love, compassion, understanding or kindness. Instead, those of us who have left the faith are conveniently marginalized as having been “false converts” who never really possessed “saving faith” or as the unfortunate victims of the Devil‘s deceptions and lies. This arrogant, condescending attitude toward former Christian believers affords those who are still within the fold (cult) the ability to callously brush aside the deep emotions and careful reasoning of the “backslider” or “apostate”. This unfortunately prevalent attitude displayed by professing Christians also has the no doubt unintended effect of confirming for those of us who have left the faith the wisdom and correctness of having done so.

If you happen to be a Christian believer, I strongly urge you to put aside your preconceived ideas and beliefs about former Christians and hear the sincere, heartfelt cries of a woman who once wholeheartedly shared your faith, but who came up empty-handed when she searched for God with her whole heart while in the agonizing throes of a crisis of faith. Don’t just read the word. Feel the emotions behind the words and try to put yourself in Margee’s shoes, and by extension, the shoes of all of us who consider ourselves to be ex-Christians. Isn’t that what Jesus would do?

Dearest Heavenly Bible God, Father, Jehovah, Jesus, Holy Spirit, The Creator of the Universe,

I come to you with the utmost sincerity of my heart, to talk with you. I have wanted to please you all my life. I have searched for you all my life. I have wanted to be one of your chosen. I never wanted to even worry on this earth about going to your hell. So I tried to be good. Yes, I screwed up quite a few times, made quite a few mistakes, but they told me it was because I was ‘blood and ‘flesh’ and that you were like the potter, taking this ‘blob’ of sinful clay and turning me into a diamond. I have always asked for your forgiveness and to give me another chance to prove myself unto you. I always wanted to strengthen and prove myself for you – but you did not want to prove yourself for me, no matter how much I prayed.

Please forgive me for missing any signs that you did try to give me.

I have also, throughout the last 30 years, asked for more faith because I always felt as if I didn’t have enough. I was honest with you about this. I told you everything. I confessed everything. I was told by many, that the ‘mustard seed’ was good enough and that’s all I had to have. But I wanted more than a seed of faith. I wanted big faith; enough to convince my mind of you, enough to stop the questions that I continued to drive you crazy with. Enough to move all the mountains in my life.

Please forgive me for this lack of faith that I had during all the past years.

I even joked with you, so many times that YOU were the one who gave me this inquisitive personality. You are supposed to be all powerful and therefore you could have changed me. I asked you to change me. Why didn’t you? Why did you hesitate? Were you testing me all along like you did your servant, Job? I was even straightforward about that and told you that I would not pass that kind of test. Then I asked you why you would even want to test us? Why would you – a loving, kind father, even allow this devil you allowed to fall from grace, sit by our side and watch as we suffered through many horrific things in life? We are your children. You made us. You created us. You didn’t answer.

Please forgive me for my reservations with this issue.

Now I am learning that you might not be there at all. You have watched me at my computer. You have seen the research I’ve been doing in the past 5 years. You have seen and hear me questioning the bible since the night I was ‘saved’. I have asked you a hundred times in the last year to show yourself to me. I have screamed in agony. I have told you that are about to lose me. I have asked you if you care that I am falling away from the faith. And still you do nothing. You don’t even kill me. I was honest before you concerning this ‘doubting Thomas’ syndrome.

Can you really see what’s in my heart? If you can, and you are truly a loving entity – will you please forgive me?

You give me no clues whatsoever. The world is falling apart. We are killing each other. There are murders, rapes, poverty, and slavery. There are people fighting over whose land is whose and bombings everywhere. Do you see this? There is torture, starvation, cancer, drowning, dismemberment, and very painful diseases. You are supposed to be ‘all knowing.’ You could give us the cure for cancer and yet you remain silent. There is an epidemic of depression and suicide and thus far – you do nothing. How could a good and powerful God who loves you stand aside, unmoved to action, while such things happen?

Please forgive me for being angry at you.

My biggest problem with you is you are supposed to be all powerful, you are supposed to be all good and yet all this evil exists. They have reassured me that when I get to heaven, you will explain all these mysteries to me. Why wait? Why not explain them to me now? Why not appear at the bottom of my bed in the late of night to have a talk? Why not appear in the sky (or wherever), even one community at a time and tell us that ‘’you will bring all things together for good’’ as you promised in your bible. So many unanswered prayers.

Please forgive me for questioning your invisibility and indistinguishable lack of presence.

You are hiding from me so effectively, that the world looks just as I would expect it to look, and be, without a God running the show. It doesn’t have any of the characteristics I would be anticipating to find, if there was a caring, intervening, superseding God. All of my attempts to confirm your existence have come up empty handed. You are hiding so successfully. I have to admit that in order to believe like I did for years, I must do it by ignoring the contrary evidence. I must resolve to this concept called ‘faith’. You are hiding so stubbornly, I must conclude, among other things, that you do not want or care if I believe anymore. If you wanted me to believe, you think would show me evidence in a thousand obvious ways, because my heart has yearned for the proof.

Please forgive me for giving up the search.

One last quick discussion. Why didn’t you make us the way you wanted us to be in the first place? It could have been so simple – you are god! Why tempt us in the garden? Why make hell? Why scare people? Why would you do this to us? I have been taught that all who accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour will go to heaven, but the amount of reward in heaven will be directly related to how closely each one followed God’s will in his life. I really tried to do this. Likewise, all those who reject Jesus Christ will go to hell and will be punished to the degree of how much evil they committed in their life.

Why did you need to resort to human sacrifices to ‘satisfy’ the sin disease – which you created and tempted us with in the first place? Why be so cruel? Obviously, I will go to this hell you created for people who reject. It’s not that I want to reject you – I just don’t trust you anymore. Trust is reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, of a person or thing; confidence. It is the confident expectation of hope that someone really cares for your well-being. It gives you confidence in the certainty of the future. It is a loving person on whom one relies. It is the condition of one, to whom something has been entrusted with, like custody or care. It is a commitment of love, and that love would not hurt you.

Please forgive me for not trusting you anymore.

I loved you for a long time and yet, you scare me with hell? And then you tell me that you are a loving God. Would you be affectionate and forgiving enough to take my hand and walk in hell with me?

I really wanted to believe in your existence, but you have gone to extraordinary lengths to make that difficult for me. The world looks just like there is no Bible God to me and I am heartbroken. It saddens me from the bottom of my heart to admit that I do not believe that the Holy Christian Bible is the ‘Word of God’ anymore. It grieves me very much to say goodbye to the God of the bible. It is your ‘Holy Scriptures’ taken literally from all over the world has made the planet into the mess it’s in today. Please forgive me for saying this.

One last prayer of forgiveness:

I pray that you will understand all my questions and forgive me for not believing the ‘Holy Bible’ that I was brought up to believe in. I am asking for your forgiveness for my doubting. I am asking for forgiveness for not really believing in you – but please – before I end this letter – would you always try to remember the heart that searched long and hard for you?

I will forgive you – if you will forgive me.

Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart – Your Child, Margee

LINK: http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/44259-please-forgive-me/